If there’s one thing I’ve learned while being at Telemundo, it’s that editing video isn’t as big of a deal as I thought it was. I finally gave it a shot and put together a video for the people who went to see Tropic Thunder at midnight as well as for those who acted with me this summer. I’m rather proud of it.

My summer’s been going pretty well. I’ve been working. I’ve been travelling and I’ll be travelling again this week. Also, I’ve been enjoying my time in rehearsal for the series of shows I’m in. I’d like to say I’m glad I get to act over the summer.

This acting gig has been kind to me. I’ve met someone. She’s young. Let’s call her Lapras. The first time we met, we hit it off wonderfully! It was after callbacks when people were properly introduced to one another. I did a reading with her and she struck a chord with me. You know how I am. After everything was said and done, we got introduced and talked at length about a fictional social networking site. It was for druggies and it was called something along the lines of “mycrackweedspacebook” or something similar. We parted ways, and I think before the day was over, I got a friend request over the facebook.

Upon receiving the request, I accepted, and proceeded to tell her how cool I thought she was. I thought that would be it, really. We didn’t get cast in the same show (initially) so I thought I really wouldn’t be seeing much of her. That changed when everyone in all the shows congregated for a read-thru and potluck. She was there and I learned some vital facts about this chick. She’s never seen any of the Star Wars movies, she didn’t know a live action TMNT movie existed, and she had entire collections of key TV shows (Robot Chicken, South Park, Chappelle’s Show, among others).

I’m sure you can see where this is going. I was excited. I didn’t do anything up to this point. Really, I just continued flirting away via huge facebook wall posts. And it wasn’t until I mentioned “triffids” that this thing really took off.

See, she had posted some pictures of herself at some kind of berry picking farm. She was surrounded by huge sunflowers. I thought they kind of looked like triffids. As such, I left a comment on one of her pictures saying “look out! It’s a triffid!” thinking it’d go unnoticed by her and everyone else. I thought it was a joke for me, so to speak. However, in her reply to one of my posts, she fires back asking me if I’m referring to John Wyndham (the author of the original book) or Simon Clark (the author of the sequel). This caught me off guard. I was totally not expecting this and as a result, my interest grew even more.

We kept flirting some more over facebook until I gave her my digits and she sent me hers. This kicked up the stakes a bit. We kept going back and forth until I managed to first mention Video Games Live and later get a copy of Day of the Triffids on audio book.

I called her once to finalise plans for the concert and later to see when we could get together and listen to Day of the Triffids. I was looking for an excuse to hang out with her (which I told her) and killer flowers was as good a reason as any to do so. Both of those times I got her voicemail. I left messages and it paid off. When I saw her at a rehearsal, I had the copy of the audio book to give to her and she had a lollipop for me because she felt bad about missing both of my calls. This girl certainly knows what she’s doing and inadvertently knows what makes me tick. I mean, who would’ve thought that I have the mentality of a five-year-old and that I love candy? We exchanged gifts, and that night we truly hung out for the first time. It must’ve been the second of July, a Thursday, because my family was leaving on Friday morning, the third, to go to my cousin’s wedding on the fourth. Yeah. That’s right. And since we were leaving early in the morning, I just stayed with Lapras until, I don’t know, 2 or three in the morning. She took me to her house, gave me a tour of her residence and I got to meet her mom who didn’t seem the least bit surprised to see her daughter come home with a complete stranger. Instead, I got greeted warmly and told to make myself home. It was all a little surreal and reminded me of an experience I had back in December… At her house, my interest in this girl rose. She had an N64 with a Pokémon Snap cartridge that I recognised at ten paces. She has a popcorn machine. She has records and a record player. She has Prince’s Controversy on vinyl! It was too much for me and I let her know, in my best Zoidberg voice, that “I [was] so into [her]!”

We were alone for a bit, before she got a call from a friend of hers that needed to be picked up. So, we went and brought her over, and I got to meet a friend of Lapras’. Before the night was over, we went to Blockbuster to find a good movie to watch. I recommended something she hadn’t seen before. She liked scary movies and sci-fi so it was only natural that I suggest The Thing. She loved it. And I was only too happy I could recommend something so good she hadn’t seen before.

I thought we hit it off really well. I was so psyched at this prospect that lay before me. I liked her, thought she was funny, cute, quirky, silly, geeky, and just really nice over all. I guess I have a type. Sadly, I had to go home and not just home, but to Missouri for a wedding. And it was the Fourth of July! So, while we had connected on this really personal level, I had to place that on hold and be with my family. I guess sacrifices must be made.

While I was in MO, we kept up our repartee over facebook and text messaging. I saw Hancock while I was in Springfield (eh) and tried to make the most of the situation. But really, I just wanted to be back in The Woodlands to get to know this chick a little better.

When we finally came back on Sunday, I took off for her place again. Even though I had work the next day, I stayed at her place until at least three in the morning. And I held her hand… Oh it was magical. The night involved watching Teeth which is more disturbing than I thought it would be. I thought it’d be a laughable horror in the same vein as, I don’t know, Jason X. Instead, it turned out to be more akin to Monster. It was just disturbing. I wouldn’t recommend watching it. After watching it, though, we were looking for something to get our minds off the movie. We looked for cartoons and Adult Swim provided the relief from the horrific images we had just seen. It was then that my hand sneaked up on hers. And she didn’t recoil or flinch or anything. I just held it. I guess we both knew that we wanted to. It was also that night that I finally bought the tickets for Video Games Live. There was no turning back now. We were going to Houston on the 10^th for a concert! Together!

I didn’t want to leave that night. But, I figured I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. Man, I was so happy. Just happy. You ever get that feeling? Happiness? I was electric, driving home that night.

The following day at work, I sent her a text saying that the day was going to drag because I’d be distracted thinking about her and smiling every five seconds. She thought it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever sent her via text. I was glad to have provided it.

The week went on with VGL inching ever closer until the day finally arrived and I couldn’t contain myself. The week leading up to our date I had created a playlist for her. For some reason, this one came easily. I know I said that it’s easier for me to make CDs for people I’m not attracted to, but this one assembled itself without too much trouble:

“Hydro Pump”

1)     Black & Gold – Sam Sparro

2)     Alright – Jamiroquai

3)     Rag & Bone – The White Stripes

4)     Endorphinmachine – O(+>

5)     Joker & The Thief – Wolfmother

6)     Sensitized – Kylie Minogue

7)     How Could It Be – Thompson

8)     Cruel Summer – Ace of Base

9)     Colours – Calvin Harris

10)Sugartown – Cooler Kids

11)Fly In My Soup – Safety Scissors

12)New Flame – Sophie Ellis-Bextor

13)Chapter 8~Seashore And Horizon~ – Cornelius

14)Bang On! – Propellerheads

15)Sundown – Daedalus

16)Wind Scene – 光田康典

 

On the way back from the concert (which she loved, by the way), I asked her if she liked the music we were listening to (I had been playing it in the car) and when she replied in the affirmative, I ejected it and handed it to her. I was hoping to be a tad bit smoother, but it was as good as I could’ve hoped. I took her back to her house thinking we might take a break and maybe go see Hellboy II at midnight. Before we entered, I told her I had one more question for her. I asked “will you go out with me?” Her answer was yes. We went up to her room and started watching TV wherein she fell asleep. I stayed with her, just stroking her hair and watching ATHF and other Adult Swim programmes. She woke up every now and then to alter her position and go back to sleep. Even though I wanted to stay with her, I figured I’d let her sleep in peace. Before I left, I offered her something that would help her sleep a little better: a kiss. Oh, I’m so glad I got to lock my lips with hers a few times. She was sleepy but I think she enjoyed it. I, for the record, enjoyed it too and once again, I couldn’t stop smiling on my way home. It was maybe 1 or so. I slept in Friday morning and slept so well. Deep, restful slumber kept me company all through the night until my folks woke me up to join them for lunch.

I accepted, and thought I’d give Lapras a call to join us. I left her a message, hoping to hear from her at some point and went with my folks to get some Chinese (P.F. Chang's, natch).

I didn’t hear from her during the meal. Even so, after I finished with my folks, I stuck around the mall hoping I’d hear from her to pay her a visit (and maybe get another kiss in if no one was around). I bought a book, and a CD, but her number never graced my phone. I went home, fired up the internet, checked the facebook, and was greeted by something I don’t recall seeing before. I had gotten a relationship request from her! I called her immediately telling her how happy I was and that I was wearing a huge smile on my face. Again, I didn’t hear from her, but I still accepted her offer.

I was feeling pretty great and I just wanted to see her even more at this point. She had previously mentioned that her house was an open house and that people come and go whenever they feel like. I thought about just showing up over there but didn’t want to seem like a creeper or anything like that. So, I stayed home and waited. I didn’t hear from her all day, much to my chagrin. As I went to bed, I sent her a text wondering why I hadn’t heard from her all day. A friend of hers (let’s call her P) replied by saying that Lapras had left her phone at P’s house and didn’t have it with her all day. That cleared up that mystery but it didn’t make me feel any better. I just wanted to see that girl that goes by Lapras. So, I slept, knowing I’d see her the next day at rehearsal (by this point, I offered to take a role in the show she was in because there was some trouble with the actor originally cast).

I see her at rehearsal and I don’t really know what to do. I’m sure people have seen our status in facebook but at the same time I didn’t want to be all up over her, you know? So, I tried to play it cool and not be overly conspicuous. This might’ve been a mistake on my part. In any event, we rehearse a tough scene in which our characters (Lapras’ and mine) fight which she has trouble with. She doesn’t like fighting so after we rehearse, she says she’s drained and decides to go home without me. I felt kind of bad for her and wanted to make sure everything was all right.

Since she said she wanted to be alone for a bit, I take off for home also by my onesie. As I pull into my driveway, I get a text from her saying “we need to talk…”

This immediately makes me feel uneasy. I reply in the affirmative wondering what’s wrong and hoping to hear from her soon. But I don’t. I’m left with this feeling of dread hanging over me that just darkens my day. I take a nap hoping to expedite the process of hearing back form her. I awake to no missed calls and more dejection. Finally, I decide to go see her since there was a party at her house. I show up a little early (before everyone else gets there) to share some face time with her and to find out what’s the matter.

We finally talk.

She tells me she really likes me. But, at the same time, she tells me she’s not ready for a relationship. There are numerous factors involved in this. She’s under a lot of stress from various agents. She’s taking care of her friends, she’s looking to her future, she’s applying for colleges, sorting out majors, and to top it all off, she just ended a three year relationship right around the time she met me. Originally, she thought she was ready to move on, but as it turns out, she wasn’t and was letting me know now. I didn’t know what to say, really. I was taken aback. I mean, there wasn’t anything I could do. I wasn’t happy about it. All the excitement we had built up in a matter of weeks had culminated to something great, and before my relationship status could see 48 hours of life, it had to be changed (that sucked, by the way. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. I don’t want to do that again). I wasn’t violent or anything like that, but, it stung to have this come about. I was hoping we could continue in the way we were going. We were going to finish Clone High, we were going to watch the Star Wars, and we were going to have a marathon of triffids (because by this time we have three different versions of the story on CD, DVD, and VHS). She said she still wanted to be friends because she likes hanging out with me and because we have this backlog of things that we were planning on doing together.

So, I guess that was that. I stayed at her place a bit before my parents called and told me to go home so I could mull over what just happened and so that I wouldn’t be putting myself in harm’s way by staying there any longer. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to try and be friends like she suggested. Instead, I took off like a little bitch and went home. I was angry. I was dealing with some emotions that were sad, and hurt, and angry, and helpless. I didn’t want to go, and yet I did for some reason. After talking to my folks, and letting them know how I felt, they offered their words of wisdom (which at that point I wouldn’t have any of). They finally told me to do what I wanted. I thought about this, and eventually decided on going back to her house. There was a party after all and I didn’t want to seem like the odd man out. Especially since people had undoubtedly seen our relationship status plastered all over facebook.

So, back I went, trying to be calm and collected. Trying to be friendly and unaffected. Since her house was so big, we played sardines in her darkened abode. Again, with other people there, I wanted to stay like I had done several times before. But, I called up my good friend Kris for some counselling and oatmeal crème pies (they usually make me feel better). She took me in like she always does and we talked it out. By that point, I was feeling better. Not 100%, but at least I was able to deal.

I went home and slept. I think it was restless but that’s how it is. The next day, Sunday, I had rehearsal yet again and saw her after my time at her house last night. I tried to be natural but I think I was a little robotic. I was still trying to grapple and come to grips with being just friends again. I needed some practise. However, today, at yet another rehearsal, I think I managed to be a bit like my former self around her. The director said I was acting weird, but it wasn’t for any particular reason. At least, I didn’t feel like it was because Lapras was there. I guess I was just tired or something.

I guess it won’t matter too much longer. I’ll be off to Puerto Rico in a matter of days and hopefully I’ll be able to return to homeostasis in the Caribbean. I just want to be friends again, at least. If I can manage to set this right again, I should come out all right. I’ll let you know how it goes. I hope everyone enjoys The Dark Knight this week.

 

Lapras, use Hydro Pump!

 

In a matter of hours, I’ll be heading back to Nebraska. I look to it with a mixture of fear, dread, some loathing, and sadness. I keep kicking myself for all of the things I failed to do whilst I was here in Texas. I can’t imagine what’s going to happen to me when I get back. Egad. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised at my conduct. I’ve yet to fully utilise a break since my college career has started. I’ve always told myself I’d get caught up in whatever class I was behind in, either at T-Giving, Fall Break, D(r.)M(artin)L(uther)K(ing)J(r.) Day or something and I don’t think it’s happened yet. I wonder how I’ll get out of this when I become an adult. I think this may be the worst used time I’ve employed in a while. I’ve slept for excruciatingly long periods of time after doing precious little. Gracious, the internet’s kept me captive a good majority of my time, in solitude, in my room. I’ve disconnected on a large scale with my family, it seems. I hope it’s just the pressures of this semester that are getting to me. I can only hope.

There have been a couple of moments here and there that have broken up the monotony of my existence in Texas. The Saturday after I arrived, I went with a friend of mine to see a movie (Doomsday, ugh) and spent some time with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. It was a great start to my tenure at home. Then, things rapidly deteriorated (as I’ve made mention in my previous post). Staying up late and sleeping even later has been the course I’ve followed. It seems the night before my departure is no exception to this self-destructive track I’ve adopted for myself. I wonder if I’m better off knowing that I have a problem and not doing anything about it, or if I’d be better off not knowing I have a problem, and therefore not doing anything nor stressing over it. It’s a tough call.

The other moment of inspiration for me occurred on Thursday. My dad is a board member of this organisation called NSHMBA (pronounced “Na-Shim-Bah”). It’s a group for Hispanic MBAs. The event they took me to was a mixer, really. I didn’t have anything better to do, and they thought it’d be a good idea for me to attend, so I did. It was an all right time. It’s a bunch of other Hispanics talking about jobs and things like that. It’s not exactly my scene. People were awfully friendly, though. Introductions usually involved some sort of job information. It’s sort of like college parties in a way. When you first meet someone, you ask what his or her major is, what sorts of classes he or she is taking, and other things of that ilk. With this group of folks, names would be exchanged first off, followed by “so, who do you work for?” or “what do you do?” People’s life stories (work stories?) would be exchanged for folks to get a feel for each other and see if they could help each other network and find jobs and things like that. It took place at a bar (albeit a classy one), so at least it wasn’t boring. Still, my reputation managed to precede me as some people already knew who I was thanks to my parents. It was all right. I was met a guy who was from Puerto Rico, went to school in Minneapolis, took his graduate at a school in Toulouse, France, and moved to Houston in order to find work. I might follow in his footsteps myself. Who knows? I at least got his contact info. Yeah, that’s another thing, I don’t have business cards! Talk about fish out of water, right? It’s odd, I had business cards when I went to Japan, but not in my own backyard. Weird. I got introduced to a guy who I told I was in school. He asked me what year I was in and I told him my junior year. He replied he hadn’t even started, which kind of surprised me. I quickly realised that he must be talking about graduate level schooling and told him I was still undergraduate. Heh, look at me, networking over spring break.

That same night, I met up with some friends of mine I hadn’t seen in a while, either. It was a nice little house party, I guess you could say. I had a glass of wine (!) because a friend of mine insisted (due to the fact I had an Irish Carbomb with another friend of mine for her birthday).

Then, yesterday, since it’s now Sunday, I went to Best Buy briefly, hoping to pick up the new Gnarls Barkley album. I was meandering around, looking for it, trying to get some help, browsing some of the other genres, when I came across the electronic section. I was just looking for something interesting in the section, pleased to see some of my familiar favourites such as Justice and Daft Punk, when this chick starts talking to be about music. She asks if I frequent this section looking for some drum and bass music and if I could recommend any for her. I told her that my type of electronic focuses mainly on French House as embodied by the aforementioned Justice and Daft Punk. She held an album, Hypnotica by Benny Benassi and asked if I’d heard of them and their music and if she’d like them. I told her I’d only heard one song “I Love My Sex” and wasn’t sure what the rest of the album entailed. I racked my brain furiously trying to think of something that would suit this individual. Looking through the names and CDs before us I scanned them in vain. I somehow managed to recommend Daft Punk’s Alive 2007 album due to its accolades. I think she was looking for something live and I couldn’t think of anything better than the French duo’s second tour. We talked for a little while longer, I had to leave since my family was waiting on me, but before we split, she offered me her number (which I accepted) and a hug! I was surprised at my little encounter but nonetheless thankful for it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was leaving the next day…for Nebraska of all places. I hope to call her tomorrow today and see if she hates Alive or not. She did like my shirt, though, asking if I made music. I told her (stupidly and honestly) that I didn’t. At least, not physically. I added that I’m like Beethoven and that I hear music in my head. Oh well.

So, I’m sure other people had more fun than I did over spring break. Who can top my torpid tales of this past week? I set the bar pretty low, it shouldn’t be hard.

I’m up to my usual antics. I worry but do nothing about my anxieties.

I suppose it was a bad idea to buy Super Smash Bros. Brawl. It came out last week and I went along with some of my friends to buy it. I didn’t think I’d actually get it, but figured I’d might as well. That didn’t turn out too well for me. Care for school quickly plummeted, even lower than usual levels. It doesn’t help that I totally forgot about the Pass/No Pass deadline…

I had a chance to shake things up last Thursday before break. I went out into Lincoln on a bright, beautiful day. And I was accompanied by one of my classmates who’s totally cool. She’s a left-handed chick who’s taking accounting with me. Our class was cancelled for Thursday so I invited her to have lunch with me. She joined me and we ate. After that, we ventured to the public and university libraries. I showed her some of my usual haunts (like the graphic novel sections in both libraries). Plus, she recommended some books for me to check out (which I did). I thought I’d get some reading done over break. So far, no dice.

I’ve been trying to enjoy myself in spite of everything. The week before last I had the pleasure of going to a “double feature” at the movie theatre in Lincoln. I paid for Semi-Pro and afterwards walked into The Bank Job. Semi-Pro was all right. I wasn’t expecting much. I thought André Benjamin was pretty great in the flick. It had some good parts. There’s one particularly memorable scene involving a gun and “jive turkey.” Plus, it’s set in the disco 70s which is nice. The Bank Job proved to be more entertainment for me. It was fun. I think it’s some of Jason Statham’s best work since Snatch.

I went on a date with another girl I met on the bus. I enjoyed myself, and she did too. I may have been a little too flirtatious. Overall, it was fun. Getting dropped off was nice when she told me she had a boyfriend. Heh, I think I took it well. I don’t think I made a face when she told me. I played it cool. This chick’s actually a neighbour of mine. I wouldn’t have met her if it wasn’t for the public transportation. How does this keep happening to me? Not that I mind, mind you.

What are you supposed to do when you don’t think you’re good enough for someone? I suppose I’ll have to convince myself that I’m good enough and better.